Effortless
by Kailey Hamilton
Summary: Mimi struggles to find the best way to get her feelings across to Jou, but there's something she seems to be missing. Joumi. Oneshot for koukacs.


_Notes: I am pretty freaking nervous because it's the first time I write Mimi and she's my queen and I doubt my ability to get her right. I hope I'm doing her justice. Anyway, on to better news, this one is for **koukacs.**_

 _ **kou,** I know we've talked... never? Once, if me fangirling over this particular headcanon of yours counts. But I thought it fair to dedicate this one to you because a) it's your headcanon and b) it was your birthday recently, wasn't it? ...so I hope this is more or less what you pictured._

* * *

 **Effortless**

Mimi couldn't sleep.

It happened every so often that a problem entertained her to the point of restlessness. Hours later, when the sun shone and skies were blue, she'd laugh at herself and think herself silly. But at night... at night every worry was like the monster under her bed, inside her closet, haunting her and taking hold of her. It was worse than nightmares.

On the last few months, she'd had a mission. And that mission wasn't going well.

She'd tried every outfit. Every line. She'd laughed at his awful jokes and complimented him at every chance. She'd invited him places and tried to get him alone. She'd tried everything. Everything. Why wasn't Jou falling yet? Even worse, hadn't he realized her feelings for him? This uncertainty, this solid brick wall, was even worse than rejection.

Her stomach churned. What if she was rejected?

"He could reject me," Mimi whispered, turning around to face the wall. Long gone were the days in which she'd pretend to talk to a stuffed animal, but the habit of talking to herself remained.

It sounded so... foreign. For the first time it was a possibility, a real possibility, that she could be rejected. Was this how she'd made guys feel? Had they also experienced that tension? Back in high school, it had seemed unavoidable.

An unfamiliar panic, a knot in her throat, took hold of her.

"I should've known better," she sighed. "I suppose it would serve me right now."

It could be that Jou didn't have any feelings for her. It could be that he didn't even want to give her the chance. Mimi fought the tears that welled on her eyes, dismissing them as useless. But frustration had reached its peak. It had been months now, and the lack of progress had only fueled the fire. No. This couldn't be good, now could it? She should know better. She should let go and continue forward.

"That's for the best. Jou-senpai wouldn't have time for me. He's too busy."

Mimi thought she ought to see him more, considering he lived in the apartment building next to hers. She only ever saw him at the train station; they'd coincided on the way back from their respective schools a few times. Mimi always made sure to ask about his day and his life, but Jou was much better at listening. He'd let her tell him about missing a lesson because she woke up late, again. He'd let her boast about a recipe of hers everyone loved.

To his credit, Jou visited Gomamon in the Digital World once a week. He wouldn't miss any of his friends's birthdays either; he'd never missed hers, that's for sure. On her last birthday, Jou didn't even order food; he left the restaurant before the meal was served. Mimi would've thought it unforgivably rude if it had been someone else, but having Jou there for a bit was better than nothing.

Besides, he'd found her a gift. A perfect gift, because when Jou gave a gift it couldn't be anything less. He'd given her a box containing twelve tiny jars, filled with spices from all around the world. She'd waited until she'd gotten home to open it, of course. But as she glanced at his empty chair, during the meal, Mimi wasn't sure if a present was worth a few minutes of his time.

She'd called him later that day, to thank him again for his gift. Jou didn't suggest she'd research the spices before using them, as she would've expected him to do. He'd told her to use them wisely.

And that's when Mimi knew that Jou would give her all he could, even if it was little.

"And if I feel like this...I feel like this, knowing he's this way. It's not like I expect more of his time. I want it, sure, but I don't... I don't demand it."

Because things had always been so effortless with Jou. Why would any of this matter now? She really did like him. Couldn't she make an effort?

"But I tried everything I know." She turned around again, this time facing a window and asking the stars, "What am I missing?"

She answered her own question a few seconds later. "I tried everything I know, but... there are many things I don't know."

Looking well, laughing freely... None of it was an effort for her. Jou would never see beyond Mimi being Mimi. No. She would have to be creative.

She would have to make a real effort.

* * *

Mimi waited in the cool weather. The sun had barely come out and the previous night had blended with the light of day. She'd picked a particularly cute outfit and opted to let her hair down. Make-up hid the dark circles around her eyes; maybe looking pale was even a good thing. As it was, she felt reasonably pretty, sufficiently confident to wait for ten, fifteen minutes, before wondering if she'd gotten there late.

But Jou showed up. He exited the building, and stopped abruptly upon seeing her. She had a fraction of a second to examine his expression and wonder when, just when had Jou become so incredibly good-looking.

"Mimi-kun! Isn't it early for you?"

Mimi was about to make up an excuse, before she remembered that excuses hadn't worked before. So she held her head high and stood with her back straight.

"I wanted to walk with you to the train station," she said. "Is that a problem?"

"N-no, not at all. But..." Jou didn't even seem to know how to complete that phrase.

"I need you to help me get early to class," she teased.

He let out a little smile, but said nothing as they went on their way. Mimi let Jou mark the pace; he was in no hurry. A pleasant warmth spread in her chest.

"Slept well?" she asked.

"Not really." Mimi tried to remember if they'd ever been at the point of mutual politeness, in which he was supposed to say 'yes.' "I have an important test in three days and I'm not nearly as prepared as I should be."

"I'm sure you are! You're doing great this year. I bet you'll get a good grade."

This was enough to make him smile again, but once again, he didn't say much else. Mimi was about to find a different way to break the ice, when he spoke.

"Did you sleep well?"

"I've had better nights." There was no harm in telling the partial truth, was there? And she did her best to deliver it with a cheerful tone. This was one morning in which she wasn't feeling like complaining. "I had a lot of things to think about, but I've figured it all out now."

"That's good to hear."

At this point, she thought it wiser not to force conversation. Jou didn't seem to be in a talking mood. Instead, she let the eerie silence of the early morning envelop them both, as if time belonged to them and only them. Mimi didn't even have to bite her tongue because silence, for once, felt well enough. It was both of them listening, at the same time.

Maybe he'd noticed. Maybe he knew. Silence, as it was, made her intentions more apparent. And it helped her notice the faint blush on Jou's face.

Mimi smirked. This could work.


End file.
